They say “Rome wasn’t built in a day”, and rightfully so. Nothing lasting can be developed within a short span of time, be it deep connections or an intimate relationship with the person you consider to be special in your life. When it comes to choosing a life partner and building a life with them, you have to make your choices wisely and not in a hurry or haste.
The relationship facts are to be given careful consideration and thoughts so that you as an individual, acquire the stability that you seek, and in fact, is much needed for a healthy, happy relationship between you and your partner that is lasting as well.
Below mentioned are some dating myths and why they remain myths, and not established facts when it comes to relationship matters.
1. Things will work out if they are “meant to be”:
We do not earn anything in life unless we work to achieve them unless we actually put in the efforts from our side to attain them. Believing in logic like this would not quite make sense and having a mutually passive approach towards your relationship can make it a ‘sinking’ ship. For the relationship to work, it needs to be actually “steered” by both parties closer to its point of culmination.
2. Opposites Attract:
Come on, it is a relationship and has to be based on mutual interests and hobbies. Otherwise, what is the point of spending time with a person whose way of thinking, likings, and interests are on an entirely different dimension? It just doesn’t make sense to spend time with a person you can’t connect with. Having similar interests and hobbies is a must for a stable, lasting relationship.
3. Respect in an intimate relationship is secondary:
This one of the dead wrong notions when it comes to relationships. No matter how close you are to somebody, be it a family member or a romantic partner, being kind and respectfully treating one another forms the sole basis of the relationship.
4. A couple should have sexual intercourse a specific number of times in a month:
Intimacy between two people totally depends on their moods, the ambiance around them as well as the opportunity to get intimate. It has nothing to do with fulfilling a certain quota in the period of a month but desiring each other as and when chances arrive.
5. The one who has more control in the relationship holds the most power:
A controlling relationship is possibly the worst thing you can get yourself into, you will certainly lose part of your self-esteem and might even be subjected to anxiety related to your self-image. A relationship where only a person calls the shots is a
very toxic thing to get yourself into in the first place.
6. Investing all your free time on your partner:
This will ultimately make your partner value you less and take you for granted. They will eventually start ignoring you because they know you’re always going to be available to them. They might even start resenting you for getting on their nerves and not giving them enough space as they seek. The same thing is applicable to you as well if you find your partner getting overly clingy with you. Make yourself less available. Hangout with your friends. Invest your free time and energy in learning a new skill, or taking up a new hobby. Make yourself grow as an individual.
7. Don’t go to sleep angry:
Arguments are normal in each and every relationship and it is very much possible that you or your partner lose your tempers once in a while. Going to bed after a heated argument might actually bring good results as it gives both partners enough time to cool down and think through before actually taking a wrong step to hurt each other.
As we’ve elaborated above, ignoring a few old, irrelevant, and disproven ideas about how to make a relationship work would certainly be helpful. We all have different expectations from relationships, and how well our relationship turns out totally depends on us and not some social constructs/ideas and set of beliefs that have lost their relevance in modern times. Invest your time and energy wisely, and you succeed in attaining what you seek.