Building a stable relationship after cheating – it certainly isn’t a myth. There are numerous instances of couples getting back together, and that too stronger- after an instance of cheating took place. Maintaining a successful relationship after cheating has happened, from either or both partner’s sides, requires work from both partner’s ends, mutual understanding between them, and of course, doing the required over the course of time to win back each other’s trust.
While infidelity seems to be a deal-breaker for certain couples, statistics say that couples in their 30s and 40s are more likely to survive infidelity compared to the ones in their 20s, and there are several reasons for the same. Couples where either or both partners are in their 20s simply have more options open to them when it comes to a relationship, and they are likely to be less emotionally dependent on each other.
How to fix a relationship after cheating has happened? Well, there’s certainly no easy way around for the same. It requires work to be done, it requires compromises from both partners for the relationship to be a lasting one. We bring to you 6 must-know tips to build a successful relationship after cheating:
1. Apologies- and accepting them:
It is quite natural on the part of the partner who has been cheated on to react emotionally once they find out the truth. The infidel must apologize to their partner for the same, time and again if necessary, the number doesn’t matter here. If they have done wrong, they must be genuine and sincere with their apologies and direct them to their partner with good intentions. While initially, the apology can seem to be nothing compared to the harm that has been done by cheating, one can decide to move forward and work things out if they want to. In case the victim feels like their partner is being real and sincere with their apology, they can choose to trust, to understand, and accept the apology in due course of time.
2. Be clear with your intentions:
Tell them that you want to work things out for the better if you want the relationship to last, also tell them if you want to move on and end the relationship for good if you see no future to it. Whatever it is, you must always be clear about your intentions with the other person and not confuse them. This will save you both a lot of time and effort in the long run.
3. Be transparent with your feelings:
Open up on how you really feel about cheating on your partner, be it the guilt or remorse you are going through, and make amends on how you would bring about definitive and lasting changes in yourself to make your relationship stronger. On the other hand, if you happen to be the partner who has been cheated on, while it is absolutely normal to be enraged, angry and go through extreme emotional reactions once you get to know the truth, you must take into consideration your partner’s perspective as well, and if they seem genuine enough, it is on your part as well, to adjust and work things out.
4. Take time to heal:
After all, there’s very little that time cannot heal. In the passage of time, it is totally possible to let go of the things that happened in the past, and move on with a positive outlook and take strides forward together. Time heals everything, however, it is not enough. It takes effort from both partner’s side. If you have chosen to come back to your partner after cheating, try to make efforts to keep them happy. If you choose to stay in the relationship after you have been cheated on, gradually try to let go of the past and do not bring up old things back in your regular conversations.
5. Let go of your ego:
Try to understand what went wrong in your relationship for the infidelity to happen in the first place, and then work on those issues together. It is quite important to be self-critical in situations as such, and shedding off ego would help too. If you happen to be the partner who has been cheated on, do not constantly remind yourself that you have been wronged. For the relationship to work, it is important to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and understand their point of view.
6. Set definitive rules:
Open up about what action of your partner triggers you and you would appreciate them not doing it further in the future. Emotional infidelity is a deal-breaker for some people, on the other hand flirting with co-workers or physical infidelity can be the same for others. Make sure that strict rules are in place and both partners are making compromises for the betterment and respecting each other’s wishes.
It is never an easy path to recover from a relationship where either partner has cheated, it takes a lot of work to gain back the trust from your partner and a lot of time for the healing process to take place. The most important thing is to bring about certain changes in yourself so that you do not repeat the same mistake again, which can indeed prove to be fatal for your relationship. The best thing is to start fresh, work on the loopholes that have caused problems between you in the past, and rebuild your relationship.