Trust on each other is an integral aspect when it comes to building and maintaining a relationship with someone. Trust is the rock, the foundation on which the relationship is built, and it is quite an obvious fact that mutual trust in each other would not develop instantly in the relationship. It takes a lot of time to build trust among two people in a relationship, and even more, time to rebuild trust in the relationship.
Once the trust in a relationship is broken due to any kind of lies, deceit, infidelity or any action on the part of one partner that breaks the other’s confidence in them, it is quite difficult to rebuild that trust and go back to the same state, although it is not an impossible thing to do. Rebuilding trust is hard and can take quite some time and patience and an attitude of adjustment on both partner’s ends.
What are the main reasons that break trust in a relationship?
The reasons commonly include:
- Infidelity: Cheating on one’s partner or spouse is a deal-breaker when it comes to most couples.
- Broken promises: When one partner goes back on their word and breaks something that they had promised earlier, for example, marriage- something crucial for the proper culmination of the relationship at one point in time.
- Absence: When one partner needs the other, and they are not there for them in their times of need.
- Secretive tendencies: If either or both the partners give each other the feeling that they are keeping some information from each other, or clearly lying about something.
- Manipulation: When either or both of the partners seems to be manipulating each other for some unsaid reason.
All the aforementioned causes are enough for anyone to never trust their partner/spouse in the relationship again. However, simply having trust issues among both partners does not mean that there is no hope, or that the relationship has to end. Couples can work out their differences and their issues with mutual trust (sometimes professional help is needed) before they can learn to trust each other again.
Trusting each other is not easy if you have trusted and been betrayed, lied to, or manipulated earlier – do not forget to keep in mind all the circumstances, and then decide to proceed accordingly.
What does trust really mean in a relationship? What are the signs that two partners trust each other in the relationship? If trust has been broken, why so, and what can you do to regain trust on each other in your relationship? Ask yourself these vital questions, and introspect.
If you do decide to work on your relationship, and sort things out mutually, below mentioned are ways you can rebuild trust in your relationship:
1. Apologize for the mistakes you have made:
If you, in any way, have damaged the faith your partner has on you, it is up to you to make amends for your mistake. Plan a way in which you can apologize sincerely without sounding superficial or fake. Think of the reasons why you have made the mistakes in the first place, and try not to repeat them.A heartfelt apology can work well when it comes to rebuilding trust in a relationship. Gather your thoughts carefully, be specific to show that you are genuinely apologetic for the matter and your actions. Do not act defensive or try to shift the blame on your partner (which is usually what our first instinct says).
2. Be willing to forgive:
If you feel like your partner’s apology is sincere and is coming from their heart. Forgiveness is the key to rebuild trust in your relationship. There may be certain instances emerging as well, where you have to forgive yourself as well, and not just your partner. Stop blaming yourself for something you might have said or done that has damaged your relationship, this will only give rise to tendencies of self-doubt.
If your partner has done something that has made you feel hurt or betrayed and are making amends to you by apologizing now, forgive them if you feel it is worth giving them a second chance – it will also let them work on themselves and not repeat their mistakes in the future.
3. Leave things of the past, in the past:
What has happened in the past belongs to the past – let it stay there. Brooding and dwelling on past events must strictly be avoided- these things never bring anybody any good. Stop constantly reminding your partner about the mistakes they have made in the past or checking up on them obsessively to see whether they are lying to you again. When you have placed your trust in your partner again, keep your mind as well as your demeanor stable enough to understand that they will not let you down anymore.
4. Be willing to work on the relationship together:
It is important for the longevity of the relationship that you both put your own egos aside and sort out your differences together. Remember, it takes a lot of adjustment and compromises from both sides to make a relationship work and make it in the long run. Learn to trust again by apologizing whenever required, by accepting an apology and making yourself vulnerable in front of the other person so that your connection is at a renewed level again.
5. Place your faith on time:
Time is well known to heal numerous wounds, and do not forget that building anything good does take time – this is especially true when it comes to rebuilding broken trust in your relationship. Give your partner time to process things when it comes to settling things with them. Be authentic when it comes to making amends or apologizing for the mistakes that you have made in the past.
Do not force or pressurize your partner into accepting your apology and for things to get back to normal as early as you want them to. If a considerable amount of time passes, discuss with your partner whether you want to consult a professional for help regarding your relationship issues.
Above all, accepting responsibility for your own actions, not assigning blame on one another, giving things time to develop on their own, and most importantly, seeking guidance from a professional whenever needed – it can prove to be immensely beneficial for mending things and rebuilding trust in your relationship.