It is very important for an individual to have an overall positive outlook in life, and inculcate positivity in their daily habits and the actions they undertake on a regular basis. Issues might pop up in our day-to-day activities and once in a while, we all make an attempt to blow off some steam by opening up and complaining to any of our near and dear ones, a person that we trust enough and consider to be genuinely close to us. Very often, this person happens to be the one we are in a romantic relationship with, our partner in every true sense possible.
In the same way, when our spouse has something to tell us when they want to let us know about something that is bugging them, we lend an ear to their complaints. After all, we give them the same treatment that we think we deserve. However, things get really difficult when you have a spouse who makes it a habit of constantly nagging and complaining. It can be rather challenging to handle situations with a toxic partner or spouse as such who has a negative outlook towards everything and does very little but complain about the situations they deal with within their lives. So how do you deal with a negative spouse as such?
Don’t take things personally:
Very often, when our spouse is being critical and talking of things in a rather negative light, we tend to take those things personally. We can’t help but think that their negative comments and jibes are directed towards us, for something that we did. We may have offended them in some way or the other, which has resulted in this outburst of theirs. This thought process in our heads will inevitably lead to a knee jerk reaction on our part and further damage our understanding with our partners because chances are, they might not have been complaining about you, or anything that you did, in the first place. The cause of their annoyance might have been something entirely different. Try to lend an ear, and possibly a helping hand, if they need and try to help them out with whatever issue that is bugging them.
Know what they are going through:
While it might be quite difficult on your part to act as a sounding board and take in whatever they have to say while they complain about someone else, you should be patient enough to be their pillar of support while you deal them. DO NOT undermine or invalidate their problems in any way, that might cause more damage than you think. Try and see things from their perspective as well, and not just your own.
Try and make them focus on the good things:
It is not quite right, for an individual to constantly focus on the negative aspects and ignore any kind of positive aspect of their life. However, situations may arise when you find your partner doing the same. This can be simply because they are too stressed and overwhelmed to look at the situation in a calm and rational manner. After all, it is not like them to be this way at all times, and there must have been some positive qualities you found in this person to make you fall in love with them in the first place. Try to encourage and motivate them by making them focus on the good things, leave some sticky notes here and there with a positive message, reminding them how good they are. Trust us, it can work wonders.
Protect your own energy:
Protecting your own peace and energy can be crucial for the relationship to work, and if you feel too overburdened by all the complaints that your partner has to make and feel drained from all the negative conversations, you can take some time out for yourself in order to give yourself the space that you very much need, at that point of time. You can be clear with your partner on how you feel as well so that they do not feel ignored, and also realize that you need some alone time as well, with all that is going on.
Try and change the situation as much in your power:
If your partner is dissatisfied with the way things are in the house, or with things as simple as a messy room, a faulty TV antenna, you can work on fixing those. If they think that you guys are not spending enough time together, take out enough time, and organize a date night at home, play some home game together. As long as you can do SOMETHING to change the situation, you can always bring a smile on your partner’s face.
A negative spouse/partner is not easy to deal with, especially if they have a habit of constantly nagging and complaining, it then becomes an integral part of their nature and personality. The best you can do in such a situation is to adjust and accommodate to their needs without disturbing your own psyche and balance. First of all, protect your own peace, and try to inculcate as much positivity and harmony as possible. If your thoughts are positive, your actions will be positive as well.