Problems are common occurrences in almost every relationship because after all, you are two different individuals with different ways of thinking, different approaches to solving a problem, and different outlooks towards the world. It is important on the part of both individuals in the relationship to take initiative and bear enough responsibility for their own actions that might have shaped up their relationship so far and will continue to do so.
Mistakes are inevitable in all relationships as well, for no human being is perfect. However, when it comes to the matter of one partner cheating on another, it becomes a difficult ground to tread on indeed.
In case you happen to be someone who has been cheated on in the relationship, you will certainly feel awful about it, at least initially. However, deep down you know that you still love them and want to be in a relationship with them. You want to forget them for their wrongdoing of the past. You have thought things through long enough, and are pretty sure that you want to forgive and let go of the painful burden that you are carrying in your heart.
Forgiveness is not for the other person but for your own benefit your partner has cheated on you, and in case you want to save your relationship, forgiveness will be the first step. If you are finding it difficult to forgive your partner who has cheated on you and continue with your relationship in a stable and peaceful manner, here are some tips that will be of help to you:
1. Commit to being forgiving:
Once you decide to forgive your partner for their infidelity, you must stick to your decision and strengthen your stance by communicating this decision to your partner. It is not necessary on your part to convey to your partner explicitly, “Yes, I forgive you.” Not unless you want to. When it comes to forgiving your partner after cheating or infidelity has happened, you will need to have a clear mindset about your stance and most importantly, stick to the decision that you have taken. You know very well that forgiving a partner who has cheated on you is something that will not happen overnight. It is a process that will take place only gradually and it requires a lot of time emotionally to reach that place as well. This is a quite natural thing because emotional wounds and damage take time to heal.
2. The only way you can save your relationship is by being forgiving:
Admit that being forgiving to your partner is the only way you can save your relationship. If you want to work things out between you two and continue your relationship, forgiveness is the way to go. If you are serious enough about your relationship, you will have to eventually give in and forgive. However, if your partner has made you feel unwanted and you are unable to let go of the negative feelings no matter how much you try, it’s for best that you let them go.
3. Spend some time apart:
Doing this would be possible if you both are mature enough and understanding of each other. When you spend a considerable amount of time separated from each other, you gain a lot of perspective about things. If you have just come to know about your partner cheating on you, chances are that the hurt feelings will still remain raw and intense. These feelings can make you react in an impulsive manner, simply because you are hurt and want to unleash those negative emotions on your partner. All these makes it even more important to spend some time apart from each other so that you can come to terms with the truth and be accepting of it and move on with forgiveness and peace in your heart.
4. Try to understand the reason behind their infidelity:
“Why did my partner cheat on me?” It is a question you have probably asked yourself. Try to be logical in your approach and keeping your own hurt feelings aside, for a while, take into consideration why they did what they did in the first place. When you come to some conclusions regarding why your partner has cheated on you, you will probably feel a lot lighter. Ask questions regarding the finer details, like the circumstances surrounding the entire situation. Was it a drunken kiss that initiated a one-night stand? Were they spending a mere moment of being inhibition free, letting matters out of hand simply physically, or were they emotionally invested in the entire matter as well? Once you get clear answers to these questions, the matter will get clearer to you and you will get enough clarity regarding your decision making as well.
5. Remember, everybody makes mistakes:
Your partner is a flawed human being, see them that way – this will make things easier for you when it comes to forgiving them. You might have your own flaws as well – remember that everybody makes mistakes – you might not have cheated on them but you are not a picture-perfect human being in any way, in fact, nobody is. Similarly, your partner is dealing with their own issues, they might be dealing with some problems in their family or workplace as well – things they perhaps have not even shared with you. Before jumping to conclusions, consider all aspects of the situation properly.
6. Do not forget the good qualities that your partner has:
While your partner is not perfect, they are not completely worthless either – they must surely have certain qualities and personality traits that have attracted them to you. Their talents and skills that they possess have brought them where they are in life now and the knowledge they continue to acquire through their life and work experiences will make them a richer, intellectual person. If they show signs of remorse for cheating on you and seem to be genuine with their approach, probably you should give them a chance.
If your partner or spouse has cheated on you and you are willing to give your relationship a second chance, forgiveness is the way to go. Certainly, it is not easy to let go of the past and the hurt that is associated with it, however, if you decide to work together on your issues and build peace and harmony together in the relationship, it can go a long way. Put aside your ego, while it might not be easy to forget, forgiveness is the key to take your relationship forward.