It might sound like a joke to the new age couples, that even after having partaken in so many things together, including their toothbrushes, why are people concerned about setting limits in a relationship?
While for newly formed couples, it might seem like the punchline of a pun, the older couples will definitely appreciate its importance.
Maybe that kept you searching for answers on the internet.
As time passes by, things change and so do we. Things that work initially, might not work the same always. Setting limits to your relationships is not only healthy but important to keep it sustaining. Nothing is acceptable in off-limits.
A lot of misconceptions run among people’s minds about boundaries in a relationship. They may feel this is unnecessary and would ruin their relationship. But, trust me, your partner desires some space and limits in your bonds.
In reality, all healthy relationships have boundaries and it won’t be a healthy one if the partners don’t talk out their likings and dislikings.
There is no magic potion for forming healthy relationships, nor do they come naturally.
But you need to have a distinct view about the healthy and unhealthy boundaries in your relationship.
What are Healthy Boundaries?
Healthy boundaries protect ourselves by setting a clear line between what we are and what we aren’t. Our emotional and physical aspects are directly governed by these. Defining boundaries is a means of ascertaining what response we will allow from others and what we won’t.
What are Unhealthy Boundaries?
They are marked by a vulnerable insight of our own identity and feelings of disempowerment in determining things for us. This drives us down to the road to relying on our partner for peace and decision-making abilities. Thus we lose our parts of the identity. An incapacity to install boundaries also comes from the terror of abandonment or losing the person. Or, you might think, you will be judged for your actions and will probably end up hurting people.
What are the Benefits of setting healthy boundaries:
Boundaries are important in a relationship to:
- Protect your privacy.
- Knowing your rights and duties.
- Feeling safe and secured.
- Feeling appreciated and valued.
- Be heard and listened to.
- Get proper respect and treated properly.
We have listed the boundaries that you should actually consider having to make your relationship work and deal with the odds. They are:
1. What To Share With Each Other:
There are things that you must keep from your partner. It might sound gross to some, who shares even their ATM pins with their partner. But that’s not done.
We should have a limit to everything we share and discuss with our partners. It’s bad to have distrust in them, but setting your limits will clarify things for both of you.
2. How Often To Communicate:
Where to probe and where to not. Knowing your limits is crucial.
You might love to get texts and calls from your partner all the time, but your partner may not feel the same. If you ask them to talk to you and have conversations on each and every matter of their life, they may get disgusted at the idea and start thinking of the relationship as a boundary. This is often the first boundary in any relationship. You can’t always keep a check on them and get yourself turned to a spy.
Your partner might not like the idea that you are checking their phones or texts. An issue of controlling and dominating the partner is never good both ways.
3. How Much To Commit:
It’s completely up to you, how much to commit, and give in. If you think your partner is seeing someone, you might feel heartbreak.
Be that as it may, on the off chance that you accept your accomplice isn’t seeing others, particularly in another relationship, you might be in for a shock. Furthermore, this incorporates things like if it’s OK to be a tease, what you concur is proper conduct on the web, and how you characterize disloyalty. For certain couples, kissing isn’t really cheating, while for other people, passionate issues are more terrible than sexual. Better all things considered.
4. Past Experiences:
Past experiences can be bad and even good. While sharing good things with your partner can enhance your relationship, the bad ones can ruin them.
We should set some limits to this for the opposite person. It’s not good to allow them to probe into your bad past or weaker sides of your mind.
Let them know what you choose to say. Unless and until you are comfortable to share your fears, it’s okay to set boundaries for them. It will help save the relationship without haunting you over past troubles.
5. Intense Family Matters:
Terrible things happen in families and it’s sober to protect their security. Your partner might be part of your family, but not everything is necessary for them to know. Isn’t it?
We find ways to hide from them, in manners that the partner gets to know about it. Thus, causing inflicts between you.
To avoid such nasty things, it is advised to draw lines beforehand.
People do change, and along with it, changes the relationships and their boundaries.
Open and clear communications form healthy and sound relations between couples and that allows enough space to speak about it, without fear of getting unfair judgments.
Do not think of boundaries as a means of disbelief, rather try to apprehend its importance.
Considering boundaries should not be seen a prophecy of strain, but rather putting trust and loyalty, in reality, serving longer than boundless conceit