Man is a social beast. We love being with people and enjoying our best moments with them. Often while doing so, we fall in love and develop strong feelings for people.
We start dating and eventually enter into a commitment.
But the good days aren’t a forever thing.
The very ground of your relationship starts wobbling and you start finding an escape from it. The good memories fade gradually and what you have is distrust and misunderstanding among you and your partner.
No one ever runs into a relationship with the thought that they would end their relationship one day. When you get in the position of breaking up with the person, things get nasty real fast. Before you make any move, everything just comes down to haunt you. Try fair fighting rather than ending the relationship, it’s hard to let go of someone whom you have loved so much.
Get slow. Before deciding something drastic and irreversible, ask yourself some questions that are necessary for this situation.
Here are some crucial questions to ask yourself, for a self-check, to save yourself from an improper step.
1. Why do I want to end the relationship?
Focus on the reasons that made you fall for deciding such a thing.
The things that pushed you towards taking such a decision must be cleared.
Earlier you were happy with the same person. You dreamt of such good things. But now, with time things have changed.
Think of things that you don’t feel anymore.
Ending a relationship is a quick process but building them, isn’t. It takes years to build trust and faith in someone. If you are on your way to sacrifice all of your efforts that you made building this heap, then you should consider asking yourself, what made you take such a move?
Will you be content after you do this? Will your anxieties drop completely after ending it?
2. Is breakup the only solution?
People do have this misconception about breakups that it will make their lives a bit easy, but end up in hopelessness and pain after doing it.
If you think that the problem between you and your partner is temporary and may pass, then no need to end the relationship, rather try to talk it out.
The benefits of having a proper discussion during a fight or relationship trouble, are striking.
Sometimes breakups enhance the overall connection.
Distancing causes people to pull more towards each other.
So in case, you believe that only a breakup will benefit both ways, they don’t delay. It’s just a stay of execution.
3. Have I tried everything feasible?
Most couples tend to give only half of their potential when they could have proffered their full. We fail to just try one more time, to try one more thing, before giving up.
As I told you before, breaking up is very easy, but trying all possible methods to work it out, is the toughest path.
If the partner holds much value to you, then try to extoll things have you might have missed.
Invest your every potential that’s possible, before parting ways.
4. Can’t I negotiate on certain grounds?
Every bond stands on some sort of compromise. Whether it is with your parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, or your lover.
We do have to negotiate ourselves, our wishes on certain grounds.
The reasons that made you come this far, have they compromised before?
Did you think of settling the matter before turning it into a nightmare?
If not, it’s high time that you change your mind.
5. Can I afford to lose them?
Breakups are risky.
Have you considered the fact, that after the breakup you won’t have them close you, as you do now? Is it okay for you?
You might not be able to face the person ever again in your life, because for you it might be just a temporary break, but to the other person, it might be so much hurtful that they stop believing in you and your relationship. When you decide something, think of the consequences that both of you are going to hold and act likely.
6. Am I ready to cut all contacts?
Are you willing to cut all sorts of communications with your partner after the breakup?
If it’s a positive thing for you then you should give it a try. But for some, it becomes too bulky to hold the emotional stresses and they try to keep contact even after the break, thus failing in the very cause that made them take this step.
Breakups lead a darker impact on us. If are you willing to fail your decision, you need to think about it once more.
7. What will my life be after the breakup?
Life after breakups isn’t the same. If you are unaware of the practicalities of relationship breaks, you must know them.
The person with whom, you shared so many beautiful times will no longer be with you.
The bad times, that you fronted unitedly, will now have to be worn all alone.
The solitude kills.
It causes emotional and physical disbalance. If you own a pet you might spend time with them, or try hanging out with friends to ease out your anxiety, but for how long?
8. Will I regret my decision?
It’s okay to break-up and choose to live a happy and positive life. But the irreversible change will take a toll on you both ways.
Your partner might not be worthy of living with you or vice-versa, but parting from them is something adverse.
If you are going to regret your decision, after days of living alone, then you shouldn’t make it eventually.
If it’s just small trouble, discuss it out.
9. What have I learned from the relationship?
The perks of being in a relationship are innumerable. You might let go of the person for good.
A clear vision of things you have learned from your experiences is necessary. Whatever it might be, it will help you grow yourself and stop repeating the mistakes.
Focus on good things and ask yourself the things that you could have done to save the relationship from falling. If you did possibly everything and still couldn’t work it out, then it’s good you stay firm on your decision.
Wish you good luck.
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