Arguing in a relationship might seem to be a rather uncomfortable prospect for anyone. Some people have a very wrong notion that fighting in a relationship is never beneficial and rarely brings any good to both partners. They might look for tips and guidance on how to not argue in a relationship.
Is fighting in a relationship healthy? If you argue with your partner in your relationship for constructive purposes, high chances are there for the fight to end in a positive note. Fighting in a relationship is quite normal, and there are several ways in which fighting actually makes a relationship better, and the shared bond between the partners stronger. Yes, you read that right. In fact, one should worry if it is the other way around.
If the couple puts up a facade of everything being hunky-dory in the relationship at all times, if they never fight, chances are high that they are not addressing the issues that lie dormant in the relationship, they are not mentally and emotionally opening up to their partners in the ways they should. With the passage of time, these unresolved issues can pop open like a can of worms that neither partner in the relationship is ready to face.
We bring to you 6 reasons why it is okay and absolutely normal to argue in a relationship:
1. Arguing is a healthy way of conflict resolution at times:
It helps in figuring out the actual underlying issue behind the conflict, you will get to know what is the “real” issue at hand here. The more you open up, the more you engage in constructive conversations with your partner, the more you will understand the actual cause behind the issues that you face. Try to be empathetic to your partner and have an understanding of the reasons behind certain actions and approach of theirs – why they do what they do and the way they do them. Do not try to change them, the best thing for resolution of the conflict is to have a mutual understanding between you two and come up with a solution.
2. Arguing gives you the scope to open up about your needs and communicate them to your partner:
If you feel you are not okay with certain things that your partner does or says, if you feel uncomfortable or annoyed with certain actions of theirs, express your feelings, trying to be as honest as possible. Express your annoyance, distress, or anger without being on attack mode or shifting the blame on your partner unnecessarily. It is after all, natural to feel angry, and the way you express this emotion matters. Be as calm as possible in the way you approach your partner, try to think rationally as much as possible. Conflicts need not always be cruel or vengeful, they can bring about love and harmony between the partners as well.
3. The argument gives you the opportunity to LISTEN to your partner:
This will, in turn, let you know what your partner really wants. Being a good listener is one of the key aspects when it comes to conflict resolution. Listen to what your partner has to say without interrupting them, know the expectations and needs they have from you.
4. Arguing is better than ignoring, period:
If your partner wants to talk things out with you, and you go into flight mode, panic and become non-responsive altogether, chances are that your partner will end up feeling ignored. Your partner will eventually be annoyed and frustrated because they are trying to solve the problem at hand and they feel like you are not even listening to them. This might seem like a normal reaction on your part owing to the seemingly threatening vibes from your partner. However, staying silent is never a solution. This will only let the issues between you two in being further built up and one day, it will all explode. Communication is key when it comes to building a relationship.
5. Arguments lead to you and your partner evolving as individuals:
Let your partner know in case you don’t feel like communicating with them at that moment instead of completely shutting down and make them feel like they are being ignored. Also, you can put a time frame for when you want to have an actual productive conversation and work things out. Think things through before coming to a decision, choose your words and the actions you undertake, both in a careful manner. Make sure you don’t end up hurting the other person by your words and actions. The thought process that goes behind these will ultimately lead to you and your partner, both becoming better versions of yourselves.
6. Arguments can actually save your relationship:
It is a myth that arguments only lead to disruption and destruction in a relationship. Instead, arguments can actually save your relationship by addressing issues and coming to feasible solutions by working things out together.
To conclude, the answer to the question, “Is arguing in a relationship healthy?”, is yes. A lot, of course, depends on the circumstances as well as the situation you are in, but also on how you choose to deal with the problem. Arguments that bring about constructive conversations can actually be beneficial for your relationship in the long run.